This One Store was so Cool that it Closed Forever Seconds After I Bought a Shirt
It happened when I was walking through the scene.
I mean THE SCENE. With all capital and neon letters.
I’m talking about the back streets of Harajuku.
Home of all those anti-corporation, street, skate/t-shirt culture brands that get blogged about and then reblogged about the world round on alleged ‘coolhunting’ blogs.
How cool is this place? And how do I stand up to said coolness?
I found out. The hard way.
I proved to be such a shock to the system of cool, that when I bought a shirt from one of these shops, they closed their doors forever in response. They couldn’t handle that an ordinary person (and borderline tool to be honest…) was now to be counted amongst their clientele. Could you imagine if someone like me accidently showed up in one of those coolhunting blogs, back associated to their little indie shop?
I mean, come on; I had no gold chain (let alone ten), no outward display of swagger. I made zero attempt to walk with a limp. I smiled and nodded and when generally responsive and outgoing when greeted.
I should have seen the end coming.
I should have taken that smirk and immediate de-stocking of inventory as a warning sign that I was so pedestrian that a place would actually be impelled to stop selling things because I caught a glimpse of a design I liked and decided to crash the party.
Me culpa.
They tried to minimize the impact of my averageness by suggesting that the shirt might not actually fit.
Sorry guys, the XL will be just fine. Can I get a bag for that?
I wonder if this scenario was in their initial business plans.
I can back imagine it all now:
“Alright, look at this picture, and take a good look. We will commit to store operations until the second this guy walks through our doors. And then we close instantly… Money Sign Medallions on three. One. Two. Three. Money Sign Medallions!! Break…”
The second I handed over my 10,000 yen for the graphic tee (that’s over 100 bones for a single shirt!) the music in the store came to a record scratchy halt. All chatter stopped, and all hipster customers went sprinting for the exits like a fire alarm just went off.
They tried to tell me that the color probably wasn’t the one I was looking for. That I surely wanted this in black…
Nope, green is fine, I assured them.
With that, two employees behind the counter pulled off their shirts in unison and started jumping up and down on them.
“And how much for these plastic gold chains?” I asked.
A guy straightening the shelves heard this, and melted instantly.
Oh underground, unbranded establishment, I am sorry for the havoc I have incurred upon your business. I wish that you didn’t have to board up the doors because of my interest in your wares. I will try to let you operate in peace next time, and not force my money upon you. But, if I like the designs I see when you decide to open up another shop in this part of town, I might just attempt to make another purchase.
Respectfully,
Average Andrew